The Alternative Story

Emotional Labor and Compassion Fatigue:
How Much Empathy?

Empathy is a word used to describe a huge range of emotional experiences. It is the ability to understand and sense someone else’s feelings, thoughts or perspectives and how it might be impacting them. While empathy can promote social connections and provide space for emotional expression, empathizing with others over a period of time can lead to a feeling of tiredness, fatigue, and exhaustion.

When we respond with compassion to others’ pain, there is a part of us that experiences that pain as well. Constantly being exposed to the pain and suffering around us can take away from us a lot of our emotional resources, hence leaving us feeling fatigued and tired. This is a common experience when a person has to provide care, empathy and nurture someone else for a long period of time.

Empathy is an innate human emotion which is based on evolution. However, social conditioning reinforces women to be more empathetic than men. Women are often expected to be caregivers at home, ensure a pleasant work environment or provide a compassionate ear to their friends. Sometimes, we are expected to play all these roles simultaneously. These expectations also align with prescribed female gender norms including characteristics of being nurturing and accommodating. Women are often expected to manage emotional aspects of tasks, and the effort or work that goes into this is termed as emotional labor.

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Along with the personal, professional and social aspects of life, we also exist in a world where information and news are constantly available to us via different forms of media. It is likely that while scrolling through our social media feed many of us would feel overwhelmed or exhausted, especially on those days when it is filled with news about an unpleasant event. Reading updates on unpleasant instances such as stories of harassment, war or mass shootings in different parts of the world, while being there for friends and family when they go through their own suffering, can lead to compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue includes feelings of being burdened, exhausted, helpless and angry at the same time.

Resentment can build up towards the person who is suffering or the source of the news. We can experience anger towards the person/ place expecting us to do tasks that require empathy. Previously, compassion fatigue was seen more commonly amongst people in the health care and social sectors. However, in this hyper-connected world where news is available in an instant, our brain processes the injustice and trauma we are exposed to and simultaneously empathizes with those involved. This contributes to the experience of compassion fatigue by people across different professions.

Thus, it becomes important to identify the spaces expecting emotional labor from us. We can then manage our experience of compassion fatigue and its impact on our mental health. 

  1. Identify emotional labor –  Firstly, it is important to identify the emotional labor that we are doing or are expected to do. This can range from being a sounding board at work, to engage in more supportive or care based tasks in the office. At home, it could include responsibilities of caregiving for children or elders, remembering birthdays, ensuring conflicts are resolved, etc. After identifying emotional labor, we can check if we want to engage in it. And secondly, if we have the emotional resources or capacity to do that work.

  2. Boundaries – Boundaries are reasonable and safe guidelines we set for ourselves and the people around us, that communicate what is acceptable behavior for us. Setting emotional boundaries is essential for our mental and physical health. Boundaries allow us to take care of ourselves and others based on our own emotional capacities while maintaining a healthy equilibrium.  A boundary can be drawn after one identifies the emotional resources one has to address a particular situation. It is absolutely okay to assert those boundaries and say “No” to the emotional labor that we don’t consent to do. 

  3. Disengage – It is important to disengage from emotionally laborious tasks periodically. For online instances, this can involve uninstalling the application that is adding to the emotional burden. For offline interactions, it is important to assert when interactions become exhausting or when our boundaries are not respected. 

  4. Self Care – Lastly, it is essential to first take care of and be compassionate to oneself. It can be exhausting to exist in a world constantly taking our emotional resources without many spaces to refill the resources or compensate us for the emotional labor that we do. Self-care can be different for each one of us and could involve blocking off time to do nothing, engaging in activities that we can enjoy, or undertaking tasks that help in processing our own emotions like journaling, practicing mindfulness, etc.

By Naina Shahri

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