“Trust the process.”
The cornerstone of therapy is trust. Trusting your therapist is crucial for the therapy to be effective. If you don’t trust your therapist or therapy itself, how can you expect to open up about your fears, insecurities, hopes, and expectations? The process of therapy requires you to get personal and demands your full commitment.
Since therapy can be a significant investment, you may wonder about its effectiveness. Let’s assess whether therapy is working for you. While the therapy process may differ for each person, here are ten healthy signs that therapy is working:
1. You feel heard and understood.
Do you feel like your therapist is actually listening to what you’re saying? Your therapist should be as engaged in the process as you are. The therapeutic space should be one of equality and connection, so feeling understood is the first step.
2. Your therapist feels genuine.
A genuine connection is a healing connection. If you feel like your therapist is hiding something, putting on a false personality or, worse, secretly judging you, the damage to your connection could ruin the safety of the therapeutic space. This can hamper the whole process.
3. You are being genuine.
It’s time to consider: how honest are you with your therapist? Whether you find yourself opening up about something that paints you in a bad light, or letting your therapist know when something they’ve done is bothering you, you’ve removed much of a blockage and opened a door to your therapeutic connection.
4. You’re taking active steps (however small)
If you find yourself taking small, definitive, practical steps towards change, even so much as modifying a morning routine or giving journaling a shot, it’s a good sign that the self-analysis you’re doing in therapy is on your mind and here to stay.
5. You’re analysing and modifying your coping mechanisms
Sometimes, the means by which we cope with our issues might not be ideal. If you’re able to reflect on the effect that your coping mechanisms have on your life, why you chose them in the first place, and even slowly put healthier alternatives into effect, you’re making huge progress already.
6. You’re starting to notice your past and present relationship patterns.
Self-awareness is one of the most important gains from therapy. If you’re able to identify patterns in your roles with family, friends, partners, peers, etc., you’re one step closer to understanding your natural needs, the effects of your upbringing, and your conflicts with societal expectations.
7. You’re starting to draw mutually respectful boundaries in your life.
If you notice yourself trying to create a balance in your social life: untangling from toxic situations, learning when to give and take, and investing more into straightforwardly supportive relationships, you’re learning to nurture the healthy connections you deserve.
8. You understand when to seek help.
Just because you are going to therapy doesn’t mean that you won’t need help. In fact, a change in your help-seeking behaviour is a good indicator of change. You might see changes in realizing and appreciating your limits, accepting an offered hand without losing faith in your own ability, and reminding yourself of your innate value. These are examples of changes that you might see and this indicates you’re growing comfortable with your role in the community, thereby letting you reap its benefits without forgetting your strengths as an individual.
9. You are able to sit down with your feelings.
Respecting your triggers, needs and patterns without judgement while also remaining committed to positive growth is a balancing act… but being able to sit with this conflict, understand where it comes from and remember that it does not define who you are, is important groundwork for change.
10. You have faith that things will work out.
It’s okay for this sign to fluctuate. There can be difficult days when it all seems too overwhelming. However, if you find that your life and conflicts are seeming a bit more manageable, and you’re cautiously starting to hope again, that’s an enormously good sign for therapy.
This article has been written by Smriti, a psychologist with The Alternative Story. She has a Master’s in Counselling Psychology and has experience working with adolescents and young adults. You can book a session with her here: