‘Home’. This word may remind some of the houses they grew up in, of the streets on which they ran with friends or of the many memories of the ‘good old days’. It is a place often recognized as our safety blanket, a place that we belong to and with people, we consider our own.
Living in one place for most of one’s formative years can mean having a support system, with many familiar places and people. Many of us dream about going beyond the geographies of familiar to explore better education, career or life prospects. For a lot of people today, relocation is inevitable. Irrespective of when it happens, the move away from home is always difficult. If this move happens during one’s adolescence, it may feel like being thrust into adulthood.
Welcome to Adulthood
With the change of an address away from home comes a sudden realization – we are not a child anymore. Moving away from home is a huge transition in life. There are many things one has to do for the first time, this can result in constant fear of managing everything on one’s own, making mistakes, not having the safety net of parents being around, living on a budget, creating a new support structure and dealing with loneliness till we build a strong support system. This can be a scary but often an essential stage in life.
Self- care can be defined as “an active experience of taking care of oneself while dealing with life’s challenges.”
Finding these zones of stability in a new place can be a challenging task. Here are some ways in which one can practice self-care:
1. Developing a relationship with yourself.
Being in a different place can be isolating, especially when one is not familiar with people or the language spoken. We seek connections that help us build a sense of belongingness. It can a good time to form a relationship with yourself, seeing yourself in a new light that may not have been possible. People who are more self-aware are able to identify stress and healthily manage their emotions.
2. Accepting the Change
Though one may have decided to move willingly, one can experience some remorse, especially when one wants the comfort of the familiar. Accepting that they will be difficult times can be helpful. Creating new routines in the new place can help one have something to look forward to. Finding new experiences and embracing them can make one feel less lonely.
3. Creating Familiar Spaces
Often the new residence is seen more as temporary accommodation than a home. Making efforts to make this place familiar and accessible to your needs can ease up the transition process. This helps in building a sense of safety and security and can bring positive changes in your outlook. This can mean decorating the place with things you like or are familiar with and transforming it into a place you would want to come back to and be in. Usually, posters, paintings, quotes or photographs serve the purpose of keeping you grounded and positive during difficult days and remind you of your worth. Finding places outside out your residence, like a favorite park, library, cafe, path to work/college or joining clubs pertaining to activities or topics that interest you can also be comforting.
Some things to remember:
By Shivli Shrivastava, a Counselling Psychologist based in Bengaluru,
who used to work with The Alternative Story